Over the years I have been told many times, "you need to write a book". Well, I don't know that I will ever feel called to write a book or have the time, so this may be the closest thing to it.
I am a little silly, a bit out spoken and 100% sold out for God! I could not have ever walked the path I have without my friends and family and most of all my God! Through this blog my greatest desire it that it shows the love of a savior and the amazing grace and mercy he has shown through my life!
Did you ever wonder why the saying is “Home Sweet Home” and not “House Sweet House”? Lately, as I pack box after box, I’ve been thinking about that a lot. And now, more than ever, I understand why. A house is just a structure—but a home? A home is something far more sacred, something you carry in your heart.
Like many of you, I’ve spent years flipping through design magazines, bookmarking ideas, and saving images. I dreamed of perfect spaces and beautiful updates, and over time, I made small changes here and there. A fresh coat of paint. New pillows. A gallery wall. But none of those things ever made it home—not on their own.
Because what I’ve come to realize, as I take each picture off the wall and fold away the throw blankets, is that home was never about the decor. It was in the mess, the memories, the living. Home was the pair of shoes that never made it to the closet. The blanket always crumpled on the couch. The stack of books beside the bed and the sound of laughter bouncing off the walls.
Home was coffee cups left on the table, and kids’ fingerprints smudging the windows—fingerprints I used to clean without thinking, and now I stare at a little longer. It was the pile of laundry I meant to fold, the junk drawer I never got around to organizing, and the chew toys under the couch, reminders of a dog who thinks he runs the place.
As I prepare to leave this place behind, I realize home was never perfect. But it was ours.
Home was slow mornings in cozy clothes, afternoons filled with chatter and chaos, evenings wrapped in warmth. It was Sunday naps, meals shared, and the daily rituals that stitched our lives together. It was the roses that needed pruning and the grass that always seemed to grow faster than we could mow.
It was the corner of the backyard where the kids dug holes. The dent in the wall from moving in. The spot on the floor where the sunlight hit just right.
It was never about perfection. It was about presence. About love.
And now, as I close this chapter and head toward a new place—a new house—I carry all of that with me. Because the truth is, a home isn’t left behind. You take it with you. You rebuild it, slowly, with each moment, each smell, each memory made in a new space.
I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologized, or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves peace!
Lies, Deception, Cheating, you name it I lived it. Hurt and anger told me that I should do everything in my power to protect my name. To make him pay for what he'd done without regard for what it would do to me and our family. Maybe choking them would make me feel better.
How do you leave your past behind and forgive all the hurt inside? It really came down to this...
Would I rather be right, or would I rather be free?
Those words haunted me as I sat drowning in my pain. Trying to reconcile how a person could so coldly lie and cheat without any regard for another person, especially. one they vowed before God to protect.
As time passed I began to realize that I had a choice. I realized that acting on my emotions would only create more chaos and drama in my life. I hate drama. I was emotionally tired and honestly, I was just done letting him and what he did take up that much space in my life. I wanted to be free from all of it.
I knew that there was only one thing I could do... I needed to forgive him. I knew that it was probably going to be the hardest thing I had ever done, but I also realized I had to do it. I had to do it for my mental health. For my kids. For my future.
Trust me, it did not happen immediately. But that day the seed was planted. For a while, there was part of me that still wanted revenge. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to pay for all the hurt he had caused me and my kids.
But the other part of me...the other part wanted freedom. I wanted to be free. Free from the pain. Free from the uncertainty. Free from the memories I began to question in my head. Free from the shackles that were holding me in this awful place. Free so I could have a beautiful future someday.
What a raw deal I had been dealt. What crappy circumstances. My marriage was over. 29 years...29 years! Was it all a lie? I could no longer live the lies, but that meant I had to move on without him. I had to face the uncertainty of what life would be like on my own.
Hating him wouldn't change anything. Explaining my side wouldn't turn back time and change the past. Resenting him did nothing but keep me miserable. As far as I could tell, he didn't care if I was miserable or happy. He sure as hell believed he was justified in what he did. So, I had to choose...
It took time for me to forgive him. He never asked for my forgiveness, and quite honestly, I doubt he ever will. I didn't need him to ask, I just did it. One day I was driving past a place that reminded me of him, I stopped and I just did it. I had screamed so many times before how much I hated him, but this day was different. I sat there in silence as I thought to myself, "I am done hating you. Honestly, I feel sort of sorry for you. And I forgive you!"
I spent hours praying and reading my Bible over the next month. Listening to worship music and messages on forgiveness, I asked God to drench me with His perspective and give me His assurance.
It was easier than I thought. Were there times I found myself thinking of him and would find myself slipping backward towards bitterness for what had happened? More times than I would like to admit. But when those feelings rose up in me I simply reminded myself that was something I no longer wanted to hold on to.
What I soon began to realize was that it was not all bad, even if it ended badly. He taught me so much about myself and about life. I can't regret a single day. If I did I would be regretting the person I am today. All of it, the good the bad,, the happy, and the excruciatingly hard. All of it helps to shape the person I am today.
After all that I also learned a whole lot about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a choice to let go of resentment.
It meant choosing to let go of bitterness and hate.
It meant loving myself enough to accept what had happened.
It meant letting go of the future I thought I was going to have.
It meant taking back control of my power.
It meant being compassionate with myself.
It meant less anxiety and more joy,
It meant less Hostility and more love!
It meant a person who cared so little for me no longer had power over my life.
It meant I was FREE!
Forgiveness is a choice. It will never excuse what the other person did. But, it will free you from the anger, bitterness, and resentment that will tear you apart.
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you." ~Matthew 6:14
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with malice" ~ Ephesians 4:31
At times I have struggled with the question, "How can God jsut to nothing?"
Sometimes the pain I have felt was so enormous and so deep. The ache is my faith is real. It shakes me to the core. I have been hurt deeply by life's circumstances, by the choices of others, and by my own bad choices. I believe that God is all powerful. I believe He can intervene in ways we could not imagine, but if all that is true, why doesn't he at times?
It's easy to get disillusioned. To look at circumstances from your own vantage point and see someone doihg whatever they want without regard for others, with no apparent intervention from God at all.
2019-2020 were har5d. I suffered some excruciating loss and pain that was not within my control. I struggled to take each breath. I sat and watch my dad die. I was told I was wrong for taking the time to care for him as he took his last breaths. I watched. someone I love turn hi8s back on me and my children. Choosing to throw 30 years of our life away. I was facing a level of anxiety I had never experienced in my entire life.
And all the time, it appeared God was absent. Just sitting there and letting it all happen. It was eay to assume God was doing nothing.
But hear me friend... we do NOT serve a do-nothing God. He is ALWAYS working!
God is always doing something. We may never get to see it on this side of eternity, but trust me He is working. Even in our most painful experiences.
We need to look back to all the times He has worked in our lives be a reminder of His faithfulness in our current story. God IS still at work in others even when we don't see it.
Sin itself contains punishment built in. It's a trap with vicious teeth that dig so deeply into the soul. Once you are free from its trap you are compelled to warn others and beg that they do not allow themselves to get caught in the same kind of nightmare you endured.
Sin always masquerades as fun and games. But when the curtain is pulled back from the deceived human heart, what you find there will drop you to your knees to pray for that person. That is the very reason God instructs us to pray for our enemies.
Job 15:20 reminds us, "The wicked man writes in pain all his days." (ESV), and Psalm 44:15 says, "All day long me dishonor is before me and my humiliation has overwhelmed me" (NASB)
Remember that no matter how good someone makes sinful choices seem, that isn't the complete story. God sees the whole truth. And sometimes God isn't just trying to change a behavior, He's trying to rescue a soul.
There is NEVER a moment that God is doing nothing.
The heartbreak I carry at times feel enormous. But He knows exactly what I need to happen in every detail of my story. Don't miss the tenderness in what 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)
We don't serve a do-nothing God.
"...casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over very carefully].
"As they approched the village gate they met a funeral procession. A woman's only son was being carried out for burial. And the mother was a widow. When Jesus saw her, his heart broke. He said to her, 'don't cry.'"
~Luke 7:12-13
Did you catch that? Jesus, the creator and sustainer of the Universe, His heart broke. He saw the woman who was no doubt in the greatest kind of grief a human can experience. It is so easy to hear this story and think, that's sweet. What a compassionate guy to care for a widow hurting woman.
But friends, I want to remind you, these verses show how Jesus feels about you too!
It's not just a nice thought. You need to know this:
When you were belittled and hurt by someone's words or actions...He saw you! And it broke His heart!
When you felt left out and wondered if you even had a place in this world... He ached with you!
When you internalized the lies that had been spoken over you and started to believe the lies of Satan... Jesus in His compassion was whispering in your ear His truth to you. Because He cares deeply for you!
Every ounce of suffering you have endured impacted Jesus' heart too! In the little hurt and in the greatest sorrows, Jesus saw you and He still sees you! And when you hurt... it breaks His heart! Not because He feels helpless. He is absolutely not helpless. But it's because He loves you SO much!
It breaks His heart to watch his child hurt. Don't ever forget that when you are struggling. You have an all-powerful God who can redeem anything in your life, but who also feels with you and for you.
I wasn't looking for love. As a matter of fact, I had very clearly told God that I wasn't opening myself up to that again. If I didn't fall in love, then I could not get hurt again.
I guess God had a different plan.. See I met your dad at a time in my life when I was broken. I was focused on putting myself back together. I didn't have the energy to pour into anyone else but myself and my two kids. When your dad walked in my life he began to walk alongside me. He listened without judgment and was the friend I needed at the time. I even told your dad that if was looking for more he'd be waiting a long time (I think I said a decade) before I'd even consider that kind of relationship again.
Funny how life works. The harder I tried to scare your dad off and push him away the more closer he became to my heart. And as life goes, I wasn't just falling in love with him. See he had two pretty amazing kids that were taking their place in my heart.
His son was a quiet soul. But the more I got to know him the more I realized what an amazing young man he was. He also had this feisty, kind-hearted, gentle daughter who made such an impression on my heart. I didn't want to be their mom, they already had moms.
As time passed his daughter and I became closer and one day she asked if she could call me mom. My heart was bursting inside. I have grown to love his children as if they were my own flesh and blood. See chosen love is a special kind of love. It's not there from the start. It grows over time and one day there you are and you realize that this person has imprinted themselves on your heart.
This love is not a love that I can turn on and off. And honestly, I would never want that. No matter the circumstances, no matter the distance, these two amazing kids will be a part of my family. I found your dad and with that, I doubled my family. See in this case, one + one = five.
"See how great a love the Faqther has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are."
~1 John 3:1
If some asked me who I was, How would I answer? Renee Templeton (soon to be Trainer). Fiance. Mother. Daughter. Educator. Friwend. Child of God.
I know who I beling to. i am a child of God. On a clifftop in Guam, watching the sun rise over the Ocean, with tear-filled eyes, I prayed a prayer that forever changed my life..
Lord, I am sorry for not living 100% sold out for you. I know you love me and want me to be in relationship with you. Thank you so much for loving me enough to die on the cross for my sins, Thank you that I am forgiven. I wat to live for You. My walk walk with you will no longer be tied to anyone else. Regradless of other's choices, I will passionately presue you from this day forward.
Ans, from that day froward, that is what I did. I was a child of God. It was what defined everything else in my life. I was completely sold out for Jesus.
BUT...The truth is that sometimes I struggle to remeber who I belong to. I forget that God alone gives me my identity. If i am honest and dig a little deeper into the question of who I am, my answer might include:
I am a woman who struggles with seeing her own beauty Sometimes I am overwhelmed with anxiety and struggle with fear I often respond out of fear instead of faith I can be selfih and not want to serve others I have failed big in my past and often carry it around like a ball and chian
The truth is, sometimes I let my past, my feelings, and what other's think of me define me rather than letting God and His Word define who I am. The closer I get to the Lord, the more I understand that those other definitions are lies. Satan is a liar who wanted to keep me from walking in the Truth of who I really am. that Truth is found in GOd's Word.
I know who I am when I know whose i am. These are the Truths about who I am and whose i am:
Nothing can seperte me from God's love (Romans 8:35-39) I am God's work of art, His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)
God does not condemn me (Romans 8:1,2)
God loves me so much that He paid to have a relationship with me by sacrificing His one and only Son (1 Corinthians 6:20)
Jesus is my daddy (Romans 8:15)
I am complete (Colossians 2:10)
I am chosen (1 Thessalonians 1:4)
I am forgiven (1John 2:12)
I am redeemed (Ephesians 1:7)
I am set free from sin (Romans 6:22)
I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
I am called (1 Corinthians 7:17)
I Am safe in Christ (Colossians 3:3)
I am victorious (1 Corinthians 15:57)
I am accepted (Romans 15:7)
I am healed (Psalms 30:2)
I am beautiful (Song of Solomon 4:7)
I am not alone (Isaiah 4:10)
I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:10)
I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14)
I have hope (Jerimiah 29:11)
I am God's (Isaiah 43:1)
Gos'd love for me is everlasting and unfailing. He wants me to have a relationship with HIm where I grow closer to Him and look more like Him as I abide in these truths. Rest in the truth that His steadfast love never fails.
My precious daughter, trust me! Go away from where you've been. Cut unnecessary strings to passions, ambitions, people, and pleasures dividing your affections and allegiances. Turn your energy and attention in a new direction toward new goals that I will show you. Hide yourself there, and rest until I release you.
Sometimes God calls us to a period of renewal. A place where He is preparing us for the next chapter in our lives.
Cherith is a common English spelling of the Hebrew name כְּרִית "Kərīṯ," which comes from the Hebrew root כרת (kh*r*t), meaning tocut off or cut down. The name also signifies engraving or carving, a cutting, separation, gorge, torrent-bed, or winter stream. It is the place Elijah hid himself during the early parts of the three-year drought (1 Kings 17)
When you find yourself in your Cherith, as Elijah did, pay attention to God's Spirit speaking to you. He places you there to hear what He has to say to you:
"Go Away From Here"
When the spirit behind to whisper this command to you, you will sense a rise of conviction in your soul about a specific aspect of your life. It will compel you t leave this "thing" behind. Often it is something you are not ready to give up. A habit. An ambition. A relationship you may not be ready to leave. He will call you to leave behind things that are keeping you from going where God wants you to go.
"Turn"
As you choose to obey and separate yourself, God will show you a new direction, interest, or goal to pivot toward. This clarity might not be revealed immediately. Be patient. Lean into Him. And He will slowly begin reorienting your heart and hands in a new direction. When He does, Obey. Turn in that direction. Turn the way He is calling you.
"Hide"
Take time to immerse yourself in His word, in prayer, in stillness. Listen for what He is saying to you. The lessons He wants to teach you. The spiritual disciplines He longs to renew in your life. Cut away any idols pulling against your commitment to Him and causing your devotion to be half-hearted. Then, press into the new eternal paths and the external dynamics that your Cherith requires. Stay there until He determines it is time to release you from that place.
