The Secret Gift of Love

 I wasn't looking for love. As a matter of fact, I had very clearly told God that I wasn't opening myself up to that again. If I didn't fall in love, then I could not get hurt again. 

I guess God had a different plan.. See I met your dad at a time in my life when I was broken. I was focused on putting myself back together. I didn't have the energy to pour into anyone else but myself and my two kids. When your dad walked in my life he began to walk alongside me. He listened without judgment and was the friend I needed at the time. I even told your dad that if was looking for more he'd be waiting a long time (I think I said a decade) before I'd even consider that kind of relationship again. 

Funny how life works. The harder I tried to scare your dad off and push him away the more closer he became to my heart. And as life goes, I wasn't just falling in love with him. See he had two pretty amazing kids that were taking their place in my heart. 

His son was a quiet soul. But the more I got to know him the more I realized what an amazing young man he was. He also had this feisty, kind-hearted, gentle daughter who made such an impression on my heart. I didn't want to be their mom, they already had moms. 

As time passed his daughter and I became closer and one day she asked if she could call me mom. My heart was bursting inside. I have grown to love his children as if they were my own flesh and blood. See chosen love is a special kind of love. It's not there from the start. It grows over time and one day there you are and you realize that this person has imprinted themselves on your heart. 

This love is not a love that I can turn on and off. And honestly, I would never want that. No matter the circumstances, no matter the distance, these two amazing kids will be a part of my family. I found your dad and with that, I doubled my family. See in this case, one + one = five.

 

I am Who You Say I am

From My Journal. Written May 21, 2021

"See how great a love the Faqther has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are."

~1 John 3:1

If some asked me who I was, How would I answer? Renee Templeton (soon to be Trainer). Fiance. Mother. Daughter. Educator. Friwend. Child of God. 

I know who I beling to. i am a child of God. On a clifftop in Guam, watching the sun rise over the Ocean, with tear-filled eyes, I prayed a prayer that forever changed my life..

Lord, I am sorry for not living 100% sold out for you. I know you love me and want me to be in relationship with you. Thank you so much for loving me enough to die on the cross for my sins, Thank you that I am forgiven. I wat to live for You. My walk walk with you will no longer be tied to anyone else. Regradless of other's choices, I will passionately presue you  from this day forward. 

Ans, from that day froward, that is what I did. I was a child of God.  It was what defined everything else in my life. I was completely sold out for Jesus. 

BUT...The truth is that sometimes I struggle to remeber who I belong to. I forget that God alone gives me my identity. If i am honest and dig a little deeper into the question of who I am, my answer might include:

I am a woman who struggles with seeing her own beauty
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with anxiety and struggle with fear
I often respond out of fear instead of faith
I can be selfih and not want to serve others
I have failed big in my past and often carry it around like a ball and chian

The truth is, sometimes I let my past, my feelings, and what other's think of me define me rather than letting God and His Word define who I am. The closer I get to the Lord, the more I understand that those other definitions are lies. Satan is a liar who wanted to keep me from walking in the Truth of who I really am. that Truth is found in GOd's Word. 

I know who I am when I know whose i am. These are the Truths about who I am and whose i am:

Nothing can seperte me from God's love (Romans 8:35-39)
I am God's work of art, His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)

God does not  condemn me (Romans 8:1,2)

God loves me so much that He paid to have a relationship with me by sacrificing His one and only Son (1 Corinthians 6:20)

Jesus is my daddy (Romans 8:15)

I am complete (Colossians 2:10)

I am chosen (1 Thessalonians 1:4)

I am forgiven (1John 2:12)

I am redeemed (Ephesians 1:7)

I am set free from sin (Romans 6:22)

I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)

I am called (1 Corinthians 7:17)

I Am safe in Christ (Colossians 3:3)

I am victorious (1 Corinthians 15:57)

I am accepted (Romans 15:7)

I am healed (Psalms 30:2)

I am beautiful (Song of Solomon 4:7)

I am not alone (Isaiah 4:10)

I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:10)

I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14)

I have hope (Jerimiah 29:11)

I am God's (Isaiah 43:1)

Gos'd love for me is everlasting and unfailing. He wants me to have a relationship with HIm where I grow closer to Him and look more like Him as I abide in these truths. Rest in the truth that His steadfast love never fails. 

 

Go, Turn, Hide

 

Listen to these words from Jesus...

My precious daughter, trust me! Go away from where you've been. Cut unnecessary strings to passions, ambitions, people, and pleasures dividing your affections and allegiances. Turn your energy and attention in a new direction toward new goals that I will show you. Hide yourself there, and rest until I release you.

Sometimes God calls us to a period of renewal. A place where He is preparing us for the next chapter in our lives. 

Cherith is a common English spelling of the Hebrew name כְּרִית "Kərīṯ," which comes from the Hebrew root כרת (kh*r*t), meaning to cut off or cut down. The name also signifies engraving or carving, a cutting, separation, gorge, torrent-bed, or winter stream. It is the place Elijah hid himself during the early parts of the three-year drought (1 Kings 17)

 When you find yourself in your Cherith, as Elijah did, pay attention to God's Spirit speaking to you. He places you there to hear what He has to say to you:

"Go Away From Here"

When the spirit behind to whisper this command to you, you will sense a rise of conviction in your soul about a specific aspect of your life. It will compel you t leave this "thing" behind. Often it is something you are not ready to give up. A habit. An ambition. A relationship you may not be ready to leave. He will call you to leave behind things that are keeping you from going where God wants you to go. 

"Turn"

As you choose to obey and separate yourself, God will show you a new direction, interest, or goal to pivot toward. This clarity might not be revealed immediately. Be patient. Lean into Him. And He will slowly begin reorienting your heart and hands in a new direction. When He does, Obey. Turn in that direction. Turn the way He is calling you. 

"Hide"

Take time to immerse yourself in His word, in prayer, in stillness. Listen for what He is saying to you. The lessons He wants to teach you. The spiritual disciplines He longs to renew in your life. Cut away any idols pulling against your commitment to Him and causing your devotion to be half-hearted. Then, press into the new eternal paths and the external dynamics that your Cherith requires. Stay there until He determines it is time to release you from that place. 

Making Possible Out of the Impossible

"It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn of your statutes. The law of your mouth is better than a thousand pieces of gold and silver."

~pSALM 119:71-72

No one enjoys struggles and hardships. If you do, I need to talk with you. But the various events and circumstances that have contributed to our lives up to this point have not been by accident. While God did not cause them, He is able to redeem them! What Satan means to harm us, God will use for His good!

I have faced so many things that could have destroyed me. Some by my own choices. Some by another's choices. And some are just because of the fallen world we live in. The loss of three pregnancies. Marital Conflict. Death. Betrayal. A suicide attempt. Abandonment. Divorce. And I am sure you have your own to add to the list. 

The amazing thing is even these things have not been wasted in the process for God to mold and shape me into the person I am today. Even though they were difficult to walk through. Even when it's excluded me. Even the harm people did against me wasn't all for loss. God's redemption in your story doesn't excuse the wrongdoing of others. However, it does add a layer of hope to your story. 

Joseph is an inspiring example of how God used pain to bring glory to His name. How God used the harm inflicted by others to redeem his story. After being thrown in a pit to die and then sold as a slave by his own brothers. After wrongfully being enslaved and unjustly being accused of unspeakable acts he did not commit. After being imprisoned in Egypt, here is what Joseph said to his brothers in Genesis 50:20...

"What you meant for harm. God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result."

All of the pain.  All of the hurt. Every tear. Every loss. Every sorrow. Every mistake. All of it. God will use it to prepare you for the ministry God has planned for you. 

 

Goodness

 Goodness…what does that mean anyway. Growing up, our parents and teachers all told us to “be good’. I always believed that people were inherently good, but now I realize the only way we are truly good is by the power of Jesus Christ in us. 

Easton’s Bible Dictionary says, “Goodness in man is not a mere passive quality, but the deliberate preference of right to wrong, the firm and persistent resistance of all moral evil, and the choosing and following of all moral good.”

Without Christ, we are not naturally inclined to be good in our thoughts, words, and actions. Time and time again, I have been hurt and disappointed by people and simply cannot fathom how they can be so cruel. I am beginning to realize that without Christ, goodness does not naturally flow from most people.  Although it still hurts, I find it easier to forgive when I know that without Christ, goodness does not flow naturally from human beings. We are selfish and prideful. Being “good” requires putting others first and laying down our pride to act good, even when others don’t deserve it. 

In Matthew 15:19, Jesus tells us that it is what is in our hearts that determines our actions. Jesus said, “ For out of the heart come evil thoughts and plans, murders, adulteries, sexual immoralities, thefts, false testimonies, slanders (verbal abuse, irreverent speech, blaspheming)” (AMP). What we fill our hearts with determines what we do. You know the old adage, “garbage in, garbage out.” As Christians, we must deliberately fill our hearts and minds with God’s Word.  Psalm 19:7-10 tells us that the Word of God is a good treasure. If we fill ourselves with God's goodness, the natural result is that goodness flows from us. 

““The one who wants to enjoy life and see good days [good—whether apparent or not],

Must keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from speaking guile (treachery, deceit).

“He must turn away from wickedness and do what is right.

He must search for peace [with God, with self, with others] and pursue it eagerly [actively—not merely desiring it].

~ 1 Peter 3:10-11 (AMP)

Luke 6:27-28 tells us, “But I say to you who hear [Me and pay attention to My words]: Love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies, [make it a practice to] do good to those who hate you, bless and show kindness to those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (AMP). That is not what my flesh calls for. When I am hurt and feel I have been wronged, my flesh calls for vengeance. It calls for an eye for an eye. It yearns for me to make them feel the pain they made me feel.

But here’s the thing… I am called to do better. 3 John 1:11 tells us to “not imitate what is evil, but [imitate] what is good. The one who practices good [exhibiting godly character, moral courage, and personal integrity] is of God; the one who practices [or permits or tolerates] evil has not seen God [he has no personal experience with Him and does not know Him at all]” (AMP).

Goodness calls us to surrender our pain and pride and love others as Christ loves them. It calls us to surrender our right to vengeance and “take the high road.” It calls for us to hold ourselves to a standard of goodness, morality, and integrity. Not only when it’s easy to be good but also (and most importantly) when our flesh wants anything but to act with goodness. 

Goodness is a tall order, my friends. It’s easy to be good to those who are “good” to us. But it takes Christ in us to show goodness to everyone, even those who hurt you deeply. 

I pray that you will allow God to grow goodness within you. You would pray for His holy restraint and self-control to let your flesh win. I pray that you would hold healthy boundaries around yourself but that within that, you remain in the goodness of God.