Scars left behind

 

"The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip."

Genesis 32:31

On many occasions, pain, both physical and emotional have prevented me from seeing the obvious glimpses of God all around me.  

Exhaustion when raising my kids, the disappointment in failure, feeling overwhelmed during hardships, watching my dad die, watching my marriage fall apart.  All these things and more have made it difficult for me to see God's goodness at times. 

I have often said that the one person I can relate to the. most in the Bible is Jacob.   There have been many times in my life that I have felt like I was wrestling with God.  Wrestling through difficult and painful situations.  Holding onto God and refusing to let go until I find a blessing in the middle of it all.   

There is always a blessing, even in the midst of struggles and pain.  And just like Jacob, it will leave us forever changed.  For Jacob, it was a new name and a limp..  For me, it has been a number of things.  A deeper level of compassion for others.  A revelation of God's faithfulness, even in pain.  Healing, both physically and emotionally.  Through every struggle through there is one thing I have always walked away with....

SCARS

Scars; (noun)- a mark left after an injury, where healing has taken place.  

I used to always think of scars as ugly reminders of a painful event.   But what I have learned over the years, is that the scars left behind from the pain I have encountered are all reminders of God's goodness and faithfulness.  

God's goodness is there to be found in every circumstance in our lives.  We carry those scars not only as a reminder to us of what God has done in our lives but also as a testimony to be shared with others.  

If we change our perspective we will always be able to find God in the middle of our circumstances, even the messy and painful ones.  He is always present.  He is always good even in the hard times.

Take some time to look at the scars you have that are left behind as evidence of God's healing in your life.   And ask Him how He can use them to be a blessing to others who may be wrestling through the same battles you have already fought.   

My Moving on & Forgiveness Journey Part 2

 

Step two in my journey was letting go of guilt.

The other freeing thing that jumped out of the pages of the book was the reassurance that making that choice to file for divorce was not a burden, riddled with shame that I needed to carry.  Part of my journey to the day I filed was a two week getaway to rural Mississippi.   Two weeks surrounded by the unconditional love of my best friend, Godly counsel, lots of time on a porch swing with Jesus, and a little more time with Jesus while soaking in the sun in the pool. 

It was while on that trip that I cried out to Jesus in my pain.   Asked for answers.   Pleaded for wisdom to do the right thing.  It was there that I felt at peace with the decision I was about to make.  The decision to cause my children incredible pain.  The decision to end a marriage.  To break up a marriage.  A decision that 100% without a doubt I knew God had given me peace about.  Yet, a decision that none the less would be hard.   Would cause tears.   A decision that some would not understand.  And a decision that some people would judge me by and would cause me to lose people I thought were friends.  

What I did know is I was 100% surrounded by God's love and His promise to never leave me or forsake me.  The peace that as I walked through this journey He would take care of me.  Of Ashley and Levi.   That there was still happiness for me to find.  That all He asked of me was to stay right in the middle of His presence.  Keep listening to His voice.   And obey.

One of the next things I came across in reading "Forgiving What you Can't Forget" spoke straight to the voice of the Enemy that kept telling me I was not acting in God's will.  That I should have tried harder. 

 Lysa goes on to say, "Reunion or reconciliation requires two people who are willing to do the hard work to come back together.  Redemption is just between you and God.  God can redeem your life, even if damaged human relationships don't come back together.

And you and I can forgive, even if the relationship never gets restored.  It's so incredibly freeing to forgive and not to have to wait on the other people who may or may not ever want to or be willing to talk all of this through.  Forgiveness isn't always about doing something for a human relationship but rather about being obedient to what God has instructed us to do."

There were two people in this situation I needed to forgive.   First, I needed to forgive myself.  Forgive myself for the mistakes and shortcomings that I had that contributed to the place we found ourselves in.  And second, I needed to forgive him.   Forgive him to hurtful words.  Forgive him for not fighting for us.  Forgive him for resenting the time I spent away from our family when my dad died.  Forgive him for not being there for me at my darkest hour.   Forgive him for his unwillingness to try to fix things. I felt like I was swimming in a sea of hurt, but every time I chose to forgive him, the less I hurt.

I found that as I followed Jesus in obedience and began to forgive, I felt freer than I had ever felt.  I began to feel a new pep to my step.  I began to smile again.  Not to say there were not times I cried (and still do), but my sadness is overwhelmed with anger and resentment anymore.

As I prayed, and prayed, and prayed for God to help me through this process, I also asked Him to give me eyes to see others, especially those who've hurt me through His eyes.   And he did just that.  As I forgave, I also on a deeper level began to feel sorry in a way for him.   Sorry that he grew up in a broken home and didn't have an example of a forever, through thick and thin kind of love.   Sorry that his example of love was so entirely different than mine based on the experiences we had growing up.  Sorry that he chose to turn to alcohol and other vices instead of turning to Jesus.  Sorry that he was losing his family and pushing away his kids.  Sorry that no matter what he tried to portray to others, he so evidently was being tortured inside,  

The next thing that happened was I felt I not only needed to forgive, but I also needed to be forgiven.   In the beginning, I focused too much on apologizing to him.  Trying to get him to understand where was I was coming from.  Ask for his forgiveness for the things I did to hurt him.   For selfishness.  For pride.  For making decisions that so gravely affected both him and our children.  

But the thing I realized was that there were two innocent people who I needed forgiveness for.   My children.   I won't go into details to respect their privacy, but I will tell you that it was humbling to ask for forgiveness from them both.  I asked for forgiveness for the things I had done, but I also apologized for the way their parents' toxic relationship affected them.  For tolerating things I never should have,   For not seeing clearly sooner.   For things, I didn't directly do but things they were hurt by nonetheless.

I will tell you, this has not been easy.   It's sometimes a daily struggle to forgive someone who doesn't seem to think they are in need of forgiveness. I am sure this is a journey that even when I think I "made it" though I will revisit from time to time.

But for now, my journey continues.   And I will keep plugging along and I hope you will too.  I've only shared with you through chapter 1 and there is 14 in the book 😊😊

My Moving on & Forgiveness Journey Part 1

I will admit, 47 and divorced was never how I envisioned my life.  

It wasn't something I wanted.  It wasn't something I chose.  I was raised that marriage was sacred, that vows meant something, that love was messy and hard, but you fought for it, and you didn't give up on it.

Walking this journey has brought me closer to God and taught me a million and one different lessons.   The hardest of these lessons has been forgiveness.  And if I am 100% honest with you, I am still learning.   

I recently started a Bible Study by Lysa TerKeurst called "Forgiving What You Can't Forget".   I am only 2 chapters in.   And can I tell you that it has stepped into those dark places in my heart that are still a little raw.   Places that one day I hope are fertile soil again.  I am somewhere in this process.  Most days are good.  Others are much harder.  
But I wanted to share my journey with you in hopes that it helps you mend those raw places in your heart that still hurt when certain things trigger you.  Through my journey I will be sharing insight from Lysa's book that have touched me.  

I pray that if you decide to walk this journey with me it inspires you to let go of the hurt, allow God to step in and heal your pain, and chose to embrace true forgiveness.   There is a freedom that is only found when we chose (yes, it is a choice), to forgive others, especially those who have deeply wounded us. 

So, let's get started.   Here is a little of what has jumped out at me so far...

One of things I have struggled with in the journey to moving on, forgiving, and letting go, is all the memories that jump out at me.  They were on my walls, in my phone, they pop up in my Facebook memories.  Current status aside, I didn't know how to process through my guilt when they were staring me down like a constant reminder of a husband who no longer loved me, didn't want to try anymore.  Failure.  Pain. Abandonment.  Rejection.  

One night after a complete breakdown.   A conversation with my mom.  Falling asleep with worship music flooding my ears and praying and crying until I fell asleep.  I awoke with a complete, peace that only come from our Father kind of peace.   I woke up with a plan.   I clear plan before me that I knew, 100%, without a doubt was planted in my heart by Jesus.   

Among other things He spoke to me that I needed to create a space in my life free from anything that caused me anxiety.  For me that was my bedroom.   The only place I could go to be alone.  To get away from the stress and anxiety that flooded our home.  I took down pictures and replaced them with ones my my children.  I added things that made me happy (one of which was pink sheets on my bed).  

The part that I have struggled with over now that we are divorced is those things.  Pictures, Photo albums.  Momentos.  They are all filled with memories.  29 years of them.   Some were good, really good.  They are a part of who I am.  They represent happy times like the birth of my kids, vacations, 

While I found peace in my little sanctuary (my bedroom), "completely sterilizing my life from the physical presence of reminders doesn't remove the pain.  I can't edit reality to try to force healing.  I can't fake myself into being okay with what happened.  But I can decide what I do with the memories.  My life can be a graceful combination of beautiful and painful."

Those words jumped off the page and settled the battle in my mind.  The one where I felt like I couldn't smile when that photo from a family vacation popped up in my Facebook memories.  The pictures of Ashley's birth and Levi's first day of school.   It would be unfair to say after 29 years there weren't lots of thing to smile about.  I felt a ironic freedom in the idea that our story ended tragically.  That the love story I (and so many others) thought will live for eternity actually ended.  But that I could choose to hold on to both the beautiful part of it and also the painful ones.

I guess that is it for today.   Keep coming back and walking with me through the journey I am taking to process my hurt.  Learn to forgive (really forgive). And walk into the new beautiful life God has in store for me. 

Trust me, my story is far from over!

Gratitude Unexpressed

"I do not cease to give thanks when remembering you in my prayers"

~Ephesians 1:16

I often find myself thinking about how grateful I am for the people in my life when they are not around.  I can be at work, in a store or alone at home.   Thought of how I appreciate them flood my mind.   I make a mental note to "make sure I tell them later."

Feeling unappreciated is hard.  It tears at our self worth.  It makes us question our value and importance to others around us.  

We pour our love and hearts into others and it often feels like ti goes without ever being acknowledged.  Don't get me wrong.    I have never felt we should do nice things for others just so we can get praise.   That should NEVER be our motive. 

But the truth is many of us have unexpressed gratitude toward someone that could benefit from hearing it and from feeling acknowledged.

Most of us feel extremely grateful.   We just don't tell people.   So, why do we struggle so much with expressing gratitude to others?

For me it is not because we have changed our mind, but because a million things come up before we ever get the chance and sometimes we honestly just forget.  We just get caught up in life and forget to "slow our roll"  enough to acknowledge the difference others make in our lives.  But there are other reasons we sometimes neglect to express our gratitude to others.  

BUT....

Other times I think we don't want to tell them because we are also aware of the ways they fall short in our eyes.   We somehow think by telling them how grateful we are for them, we are overlooking the things they do that we don't like.

This next one is the one I struggle with the most.  When we express our gratitude with someone it signifies that at come level we rely on them.  And that can be really scary.   I know because of my paSt, that it can be for me.

Finally, there are those who don't know how to express gratitude.  Yep, that is what I said.  This one is one that I honestly never considered until recently.   I can even hear myself telling people in my life, "Why is it so tough for you to just tell someone you appreciate something they've done for you?"  What I never considered is, it really is hard for them to express gratitude when it was never modeled for them before.  Maybe that is you.

I don't know your why.   But it is obviously a thing because so many people struggle with feeling like they aren't appreciate even though they are.

But there is hope!  And it is SUPER easy to fix.   We just need to take the time to tell those we love that we are grateful for them.  It doesn't have to be difficult.  Pick up the phone, or wall across the room and tell someone.  Send a text.   An email.   Send a card.  Be creative.

Let someone know you've noticed how they have made a difference or sacrificed for us and how it made a difference in your life.  Recognize someone for how their helpfulness touched you.  Express how you appreciate their  consideration. 

When we share with another person that we have seen their kindness, we speak life into their hearts. 

Please hear me.....

Friends don't leave gratitude and thankfulness go unexpressed.  Let it out.  It will change you and it will change the person you share it with.  Gratitude should be something we share on a regular basis with those around us.  It should also be something we share on a regular basis with God.  

Challenge yourself to be a Gratitude Giver...

Tell someone thank you

Tell someone you see them

Tell someone you love them

Tell someone you appreciate them.

The saddest thing would ne to look back one day and wish we'd have told someone just how grateful we were for them.   Don't wait until it is too late and miss the opportunity to tell someone how what they did mattered in your life.

Let's Live with THANKFUL hearts!

 

what voices do you listen to?

 

Beloved by, Jordan Feliz

Sometimes life feels utterly exhausting!

i am constantly putting expectations on myself that i would never think to put on anyone else.   i speak to myself in ways i would never talk to another human being.   i  wear myself out trying to get things done (and by get it done, i mean get it done the right way), otherwise i will beat myself up over it. 

i beat myself up all the time.  i replay negative tapes over, and over, and over again.   That is what i knew to do.  

Growing up i felt a pressure to be perfect.   i don't know that any one person put that pressure on me. i felt that pressure to be perfect because when i was "perfect" people noticed me.   When i was "perfect" no one shamed me.   Or belittled me.  Or criticized me.  When i was "perfect" no one told me i wasn't good enough.

Then i got married and it didn't stop.   The external pressure to be perfect and the voices in my head didn't go away.  

Grace, compassion, patience, acceptance, feeling love and supportive were not something i experienced on a regular basis.  Encouragement and support seemed more like things i received only if what i wanted to do, or the dream i wanted to pursue didn't interfere or impose on the lives of those around me.

Eventually, i began to feel hijacked b y all the negative voices in my head.  Satan had buried them so deep in my mind that i not only started believing the lies, i began repeating them to myself. 

NO ONE CARES

YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH

NOTHING YOU DO MATTERS

NO ONE WILL EVERY REALLY LOVE YOU....

THE LIST WENT ON AND ON!

it took a harsh wake up call to realize and show me that i wasn't meant to live that way.  i didn't need to believe all those voices swarming in and around my head.  The constant belittling, shaming, my life wasn't meant to be that way.  All the negative voices and negative talk i had heard all my life were now coming from my own mind.  There i was talking to God's beloved, His masterpiece like that.

i was directing those things at someone God himself formed with His own hands .  Someone God himself Breathed His own breath and life into.  

i would NEVER talk to someone else that way.  So, why was i talking to myself that way.

Being awaken to this set me down a journey to undo and untangle all the lies i had allowed myself to be ensnared in.  The things i began to believe, consume my thoughts at times.  And to hold my true identity captive.

My true identity.  The only one that i need to allow to nestle deep down in my mind and my soul....

i am daughter of a King

& 

i am his beloved!

 

The Knockout

 

"And I am sure that the God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in His grace until HIs task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns."

~Philippians 1:6

The knockout.   It's the worst.  IT's embarrassing. It's discouraging.  It is not fun in any way.

April 25th.  It's a day that will forever be etched in my memory.   It was the day I hit my breaking point.  My plate was full with rejection, loss and anxiety and I felt as though no one cared.  All the anxiety and pain was just too much to take and I just wanted to quit hurting.  That afternoon I swallowed approximately 25 Flexeril and Oxycontin.  I found myself laying there, looking up and knowing I had been knockout.  I had allowed the anxiety and fear to take over.  I felt utterly defeated.

The next thing I knew I remembered was waking up in an ICU room.  I was never so thankful that God had spared me.  I later found out that after being rushed to the ER, I had to resuscitated three times. The doctor's didn't know if I would wake back up and if I did what effects it would have on me.  

I was in that moment on April 27th that I was filled with overflowing gratitude that although Satan tried to knock me out permanently, Jesus Stepped in and said, "Not yet.  I'm not done with this one yet!"

"The moment that defines us is not the knocking down, but what happens while we are laying down on the ground"

Here, knocked down, laying on the ground is right where Satan wanted me.  It's where Satan would love to sneak in and start filling your mind with lies..

"You're worthless."

"You can't even get killing yourself right."

"It's never going to change or get any better."

And sure enough that was exactly what the enemy did.

Laying in that hospital bed I had a choice to make.  I could agree with all the lies the enemy was throwing at me.  Or, I could agree with God and know He's not done with me. 

There was no doubt in my mind and deep in my soul that my choice was to believe God.  

MY FIGHT WASN'T OVER!

That may have been round one and the enemy may have knocked me down.  But he didn't win and I chose to get up and keep fighting.  

I know it seems a strange thing to say, but maybe, just maybe God allowed me to get knocked down and lose that round? I made a decision that day, to fight.  To get up and keep going, even through the tears in my eyes. 

The thing I realized was I wasn't going to go through the rest of this fight alone.  If I'm waking in the Lord's plan for my life, I'm not going to lose.  This isn't even about my strength.  Each new step I will take will be a living example of God's grace.  He is the one who will lift me up and enable me to keep going.  Standing back up shows my belief that I trust HIm enough to keep going and not give up.  That I trust He will be there through all the other battles and fights I will face along the way.  

As I've navigated down this new path it has been anything but easy.  I've has to face some of my own demons.  Heal my heart, mind and soul.  Let go of the picture I had created in my mind about my future and trust God to paint a new picture.   I have lost friends.  Faced divorce and rejection.  

But in the process, I have grown exponentially closer in my walk with God.  I have learned to quiet myself and hear His voice more clearly.  Choosing Jesus' voice during this process has forever changed me into a stronger person.   I think I was always a strong person, but I think I totally forgot who I was in Christ and who He created me to be.  I've discovered my true identity in Christ.  I've come to recognize some new God given talents and abilities.  Although this brought an end to relationships, it has also allowed me to see several people that were in my life and loved me unconditionally, even when I wasn't very easy to love.  They have been there to hold me up when I couldn't do it myself.  He has replaced lost relationship with new, healthier ones.  I have learned to be ok with, and maybe even enjoy a little, the silence of being alone.  The time to sit with my thoughts.  To do something for myself and not fell guilty.  The best thing is God has given me a peace in the midst of the storm that only comes from Him.  He has filled my heart with joy and laughter that no longer depends on the circumstances around me.  

So, if I could share one thing with you.  One very important lesson that I learned walking through this very difficult battle, it's this:

When life knocks you down, and it will, 

Grab ahold of God's hand of grace, get back up, 

and don't allow this to be the end.

Because this can be your new beginning!

You are so incredibly Strong.   God is with you and He will uphold you and fill you with His endless strength.

The knockout doesn't have to be the end.  

It can be a beautiful, new beginning.

YOU get to chose!

 

Sweet Revenge

 

Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!"

Wait on the LORD , and He will avenge you.

~ Proverbs 20:22

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, 

for it is written,

"It is mine to avenge.  I'll repay, " says the LORD. 

~ Romans 12;19

I'm gonna be real with ya'll.  And I'm a little ashamed to say, this won't be most "Christian" moment.  But sometimes I wish the Bible said things a little differently.

Sometimes I wish the Bible said something more along the lines of, 

"be nice to others, but if they hurt you, feel free to give them a piece of your mind and try to make them feel the same hurt and pain you feel."

But here's the thing, that is not what it says.   All throughout the Bible we are instructed to love our enemies, bless those who curse you, and not to repay evil with evil.  It tears me apart sometimes to know that there are people in my life that will intentionally hurt me, treat me unfairly, and also know the hard reality that they will probably never take responsibility for what they have done.   The hard truth is I may never get the apology or explanation I so desperately want and feel I deserve.  

If left to my desire for that apology, validation, or even revenge, it can begin to consume me.  And trust me, that is NOT a good thing.   It begins to steal my peace and joy.  

This is the place that I need to make a choice...

Will I keep fighting for revenge, and apology or explanation?

Or, will I let go and let God be the judge?

While the very, very real, very hurt, very human part of me would love to hear that person say what they did was wrong.  To see them feel the same pain, grief, and hurt they caused me.  

But hear me when I say all this, all holding onto the hurt and need for vengeance will do is consume you.  It will steal your peace and joy and begin to feel like a ton of bricks, weighing you down.  Eventually if you don't let it go, it will take root as bitterness and resentment.  It will become so heavy that it consumes your life. 

The sad truth is that you may never get that apology.   You may never hear that person admit they were wrong.  You may never get the answers you so desperately want.  

But let me assure you God will take care of what needs to be taken care of.

It might feel good to get back at that person who has hurt you so deeply.  But I promise the strongest, and hardest, thing you can do is lay it at the feet of the cross and leave it to God to sort out. 

Quit carrying all the hurt and wrongs that other people have inflicted on you.  I get it, they hurt you.  But when you    let it go, and give it over to God, you quit allowing that other person to keep hurting you.   

Give it over to the ultimate Judge & free yourself the heavy chains that burden you!

 

Be still

 "The Lord will fight for you, all you only need to be still"

~Exodus 14:14

Wow!  This is the perfect verse right now!  Fear and anxiety is at an all time high is our nation and our world.

Do you ever feel cornered by situation, relationship or circumstance and fell helpless.  Like nothing you do would matter or ever help.  This verse is a reminder that we don't have to feel helpless or hopeless.  All you need to do is trust.  Trust that God is there and He will fight for you..

Even though it at times it sometimes feels like the walls are closing in around you, and that the struggles seem endless, God is calling you to, "Be Still & Trust Him".  

If God fought to gain victory over death, hell and the grave, then He is more that capable of fighting the smaller battles in your life.  Even if they don't seem small to you.  

My son had a t-shirt when he was smaller that said it all...

Little bitty fish (your problems), 

Great BIG God

Maybe you should quit trying to fight the battles alone and let God step in and fight along side, or better yet for you.  

"Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where my feet may fail & fear summons me 

You've never failed and you won't start now."

So, listen to what God is telling you in the midst of your battle..

"(Fill in your name).......

Be Still & Trust me!"

- GOD

The trap of self-Criticism

 

“My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.”

1 John 3:18-24

DO you ever find yourself engaging in “debilitating self-criticism”?  Beating yourself up over your failures and short comings?  If so, you are missing a key point of the gospel.

God knows you.  Take a moment to let that sink in.  He created you.  Every detail about you.  Every flaw.  Every weakness.  He knows you better than you could ever know yourself.  And even so, his love is greater than your worried heart or your failures and short comings.

Hanging on to your mistakes displays a lack of trust in the absolute power of God’s grace.  By engaging in self-criticism and clinging to our mistakes and weaknesses, you are telling Jesus that you don’t trust when he said in 2 Corinthians 12:9,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Not only does it display a lack of trust in the power of His grace, it also keeps you from loving others fully. It will also keep you from receiving all that God wants to give you and from going the places He wants to send you.

Go to Jesus and confess any self-criticism you find yourself stuck in.  Ask Him to break the shackles and help keep you from obsessing over whatever failure or short coming it is that keeps you bound.

Surrender it to Christ.  Ask Him to come fill that space with love in practice to God and others.   And every time Satan reminds you of those things, remind him who it is you serve.  All your weakness and failure has been covered by God’s grace, through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

“He has saved us and called us to a holy life- not because of anything we have done but because of this own purpose and grace.  This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.”

2 Timothy 1:9

My current favorite Playlist

 

Never Give Up

 

I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home.  I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you.”

~Jeremiah 29:11-14

 

Have you ever watched someone suffer with hopelessness and despair?  Maybe that someone was even you.   Have you ever watched, knowing no matter how much you wanted you couldn’t fix it?  You couldn’t do anything but walk through or walk with that person through their circumstances? 

Sometimes circumstances are beyond our control and sometimes we fall into the belief, true or not, that what we wanted, hope for, dreamed of, will never come true.  

Most recently I have seen these feeling surface through my son.   I see him struggle with things that are beyond his control through teary eyes and a broken heart.  He has been a spectator to his father and my divorce, and he so desperately wants the love and attention of his dad.  He wants to know it’s not his fault we are divorcing and that he is not the reason his dad moved out.   But unanswered texts and broken promises often leave him wondering just that.   It leaves him feeling hopeless, unloved, and depressed. 

Maybe you find yourself in a situation that leaves you feeling the same way.  There is good new though…

Regardless of your feelings or circumstances, God has a plan for your life.  He promises us that He will never abandon us.  He has a plan that gives us the future we hoped for.

Guaranteed we will face hardships and trials along the way.  Some of those will seem so big that it feels like the whole world is shattering around you.  Some will feel so heartbreaking we don’t see any way out of them.  I am sure that right now that is how my son is feeling, and maybe you are too.

What we must remember is that God has a plan for us.  He has a plan for you.  And, yes, that even includes the worst parts of our lives.  Nothing surprises God.  He knew everything that was going to happen in your life.  None of it is a surprise to Him.  The amazing part is that if we allow Him into our circumstances, He will use them for good.  He can use the pain and hardship we face to change the trajectory of our heart.

Never forget you were chosen.  God has called you out and chosen you for a specific mission and purpose.  One that only YOU can fulfill.

The bible says,

“He who created a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ.”

~Philippians 1:6

God didn’t want us to walk down the path He chose for us, just to stop and give up when it gets hard.  He sees your pain and He is not done with you.  And maybe, just maybe this pain has everything to do with His preparing you for the good work he has placed inside you.  As long as you have breath left in you, His plan is still alive and unfolding in your life. 

The catch to this all is we can’t give up.  Even when it gets hard.  Even when it hurts.  And yes, even when we begin to loose hope.  We need to remember the most important part….

WE CAN’T DO IT ALONE!!!!  We need Him to keep going.  We don’t have to be strong because He promises His strength in our weakness.  We need to keep trusting Him and inviting Him into our mess.  Our pain.  Our desperation.  He wants to sit with us in our mess, pain, despair, and hopelessness.   He even wants to sit with us in our anger.  

God made each of us with a unique purpose.  He never wastes a hurt.   And He has a plan for your life.  He isn’t even close to done with you!  I guarantee you have something the world needs.  Someone out there will be ministered to because of the pain you’re going through.

SO….

DON’T GIVE UP!!!!

Who will you believe?

 

I don’t know about you, but I often struggle with all the voices around me telling me things about myself.  Sometimes, those voices are from friends and family.  Sometimes it is voices from my past, and sometimes, even my own voice that echoes in my head. 

When the voices cloud out the truth about who God says I am, I need a reminder of the Truth He has said about me.   I learned years ago that the best way for me to remember who God says I am is by writing down and memorizing Bible verses about who God says I am.

Here are some favorites…

 

I will never be shaken.

I wait quietly before God,
    for my victory comes from him.
 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress where I will never be shaken.

Psalm 62:1-2

I am bold as a lion.

The wicked run away when no one is chasing them,
    but the godly are as bold as lions.

Proverbs 28:1

No weapon formed against me will stand.

But in that coming day
    no weapon turned against you will succeed.
You will silence every voice
    raised up to accuse you.
These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord;
    their vindication will come from me.
    I, the Lord, have spoken!

Isaiah 54:17

God will always lead me to triumph

But thank God! He has made us his captives and continues to lead us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume.

2 Corinthians 2:14

 

I cannot be separated from God’s love.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

Romans 8:38

 

I am chosen by God.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.   God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

Ephesians 1:4-5

I am God’s workmanship and created for Good works.

 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:10

 

I have not been given a spirit of fear.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].

2 Timothy 1:7

I am wonderfully made

I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works,

and my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:14

 

I am beautiful

 And how will they preach unless they are commissioned and sent [for that purpose]? Just as it is written and forever remains written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!”

Romans 10:15

I am fully known & lavishly loved by God.

 I am the Good Shepherd, and I know [without any doubt those who are] My own and My own know Me [and have a deep, personal relationship with Me]—

John 10:14

 

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument],

Jeremiah 1:5 a

I am special

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a consecrated nation, a [special] people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies [the wonderful deeds and virtues and perfections] of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

1 Peter 2:9

 

I am set apart.

for you are a holy people [set apart] to the Lord your God; and the Lord has chosen you out of all the peoples who are on the earth to be a people for His own possession.

Deuteronomy 14:2

But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself [and dealt wonderfully with] the godly man [the one of honorable character and moral courage—the one who does right]. 

The lord hears and responds when I call to Him.

Psalm 4:3

 

Who God says I am is infinitely more important than what the world says.   I am the only one who decides if what others say has power over me. 

Today I chose to believe what God says about me.

 

How about you… who will you believe?