I am no stranger to anxiety. I have struggled with it pretty bad the last few years. And looking back I realize I had anxiety all the way back into my teenage years. It's morphed through the years. Sometimes it's so loud I can't think straight. Other times it's so quiet I can barely hear it.
It comes and goes. It shifts focus... Yet, it always does the same thing:
It steals my peace and joy and takes away my ability. to enjoy the moment.
I recently came out of the most crippling season of anxiety I have ever experienced. But I realize there are still so many people out there dealing with immense anxiety as I type.
No matter if your anxiety is drastic or minimal...
Anxiety is a BEAST!
Like me, I am sure you have asked and even begged God to take it away. Maybe like me, you've even wondered at times where God is in the middle of the chaos in your mind.
I recall a time a little over a year ago. Laying in bed. Shaking. Crying. Consumed by anxiety. Thinking, "I know I should pray, but what's the point? It's not going to go away." I didn't even want to go to God again. I doubted He was going to take it away anyway. All I could do through my tear-filled eyes was cry out, "Where are You, God?"
At that moment I was quietly reminded that being completely healed isn't the only indicator that God is present. God can heal anything. I believe that with every fiber of my being. I have seen it. I have experienced it. If He doesn't heal here on earth, He most assuredly brings complete healing when we make it to heaven. But He doesn't always do things in an instant.
So where is he when we are anxious?
He is with me...
His Spirit is still safe inside me.
He is around me.
His presence is ev erywhere, fighting on behalf of me
in a spiritual realm, I cannot see.
He is behind me.
And in front of me.
He is outside of time.
He is in every ounce of anxiety I have ever experienced.
Psalm 46:1 says,
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
He's ever-present.
He's our help.
But his help doesn't always look like instant healing. That doesn't make Him less present. And it doesn't make Him less good. It does mean that He is in the healing journey with us. And maybe that is the whole point.
On this side of heaven, none of us will be completely whole. Not like we will be in heaven. None of us can avoid suffering. Suffering will happen. If we learn to keep going to Him even if it doesn't result in immediate healing, we might just find a different kind of healing is happening inside of us.
A new perspective may emerge. We learn to see His face in our suffering, instead of only seeing Him in our victories. I am in no way suggesting we shouldn't pray for healing. We should. And I wholeheartedly believe He wants to heal us. But we should also seek professional help if that is what we need.
But if we can live a life that even when we're suffering we can see His face and know His voice...
If we can feel anxious yet trust He is who He says He is...
Then we have something so much better than an "anxiety-free" life!
We have a life knowing and walking with our Shephard in the valleys. We have a forever friend!
So if you are anxious and you are wondering...
God is right there with you!
And He's not going to leave!
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